Is There a Skunk in Your Tent? How to Navigate Workplace Culture Without Getting Sprayed
The Skunk in the Tent
While working at a camp one summer many years ago, I stayed at Davidson River Campground in Pisgah Forest. I had a brand-new tent, and that evening, I was cozy inside it, reading “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” by the light of my headlamp. I remember that detail vividly because the cover boldly stated, “Don’t Panic" a piece of advice that would soon feel incredibly relevant.
My tent had a mesh vestibule that offered a clear view outside. As I lay there, turning pages, I noticed movement in the corner of my eye—a flash of white. I looked up, and there it was: a skunk. It was no more than six inches away, separated from me by nothing but a thin layer of mesh.
We locked eyes. The skunk stared at me, and I stared back. It felt like an eternity, though it was probably, in reality, no more than 20 seconds.
At that moment, I knew one thing: the wrong move could ruin everything.
I stayed perfectly still, holding my breath. No sudden movements, no panicked reactions. After sizing me up, the skunk eventually turned and wandered off into the night. I exhaled, turned off my headlamp, rolled over, and went to sleep—relieved to have avoided disaster.
What Middle Managers Tell Me
I often hear from people in middle management who feel like they’re in that exact situation—trapped in a metaphorical tent with a skunk. They say things like:
“I can’t change the culture here.”
“Leadership isn’t listening.”
“No matter what I do, it doesn’t make a difference.”
And they’re not wrong.
Middle management can feel like the most frustrating place to be. You’re close enough to see what’s broken, to feel the impact of bad decisions, but not high enough in the hierarchy to fix it. It’s like being in the tent with the skunk: the problem is right there, in your space, and the wrong move could make everything worse.
But here’s the thing: you don’t have to change the whole culture to make a difference. In fact, trying to do that can drain you, frustrate your team, and ultimately do more harm than good. The key is knowing your limits—understanding where you can influence change, where you can’t, and when to save your energy for battles worth fighting.
The Lesson: Know Your Limits of Control
One of the hardest lessons in leadership is this: You can’t control everything.
And that’s okay.
Leadership isn’t about having the power to fix every problem. It’s about knowing where your power lies—and where it doesn’t. Just like I couldn’t make that skunk leave my tent with a bold move, you can’t force cultural change in an organization that isn’t ready for it. Sometimes, trying too hard, too fast, can make the situation worse.
Think of it like this:
• You can’t control the weather, but you can carry an umbrella.
• You can’t stop the tide, but you can build a stronger boat.
• You can’t make the skunk leave, but you can manage your reactions until it does.
The real skill is in managing yourself—your reactions, your mindset, your energy.
The Bear Disclaimer
Now, notice I said skunk—not bear.
If there’s a skunk in your tent, it’s annoying. It’s uncomfortable. It requires patience and careful handling. But it’s not life-threatening.
If there’s a bear in your tent—a toxic, dangerous, or abusive work environment—get out.
I would say action would be required in this scenario. What do you think?
No job, no team, no project is worth sacrificing your mental health, your safety, or your well-being.
A skunk situation might smell bad if handled poorly, but you’ll recover. A bear? That’s a whole different level of danger. You don’t negotiate with a bear. You don’t stay still and hope it goes away. You protect yourself. You leave. You get help.
So, as you read this, ask yourself:
• Am I dealing with a skunk—something unpleasant but manageable?
• Or is this a bear—something genuinely harmful that I need to walk away from?
Knowing the difference isn’t just a leadership skill. It’s a survival skill.
The Tool: The Three Circles of Influence
To navigate these situations, I rely on a simple framework called the Three Circles of Influence:
1. Circle of Control:
These are the things you can directly change—your leadership style, how you support your team, the culture you create within your own space. This is where your power lives.
2. Circle of Influence:
These are areas where you don’t have direct control, but you can have an impact over time. Maybe it’s through relationships with other leaders, modeling different behaviors, or introducing new ideas that slowly take root.
3. Circle of Concern:
This is everything outside your control—upper management decisions, company-wide culture, or that toxic executive three levels above you. You can’t control these, but you can control how much mental and emotional energy you give them.
When you focus too much on your Circle of Concern, you drain yourself. But when you invest in your Circle of Control, you create real, meaningful change.
What This Looks Like in Practice
Let’s say you work in an organization where leadership resists new ideas. Every proposal feels like it hits a wall.
• Circle of Control:
You can create a culture within your team where creativity thrives. You can encourage experimentation, celebrate small wins, and make your corner of the organization a place where people feel valued.
• Circle of Influence:
You can build relationships with like-minded colleagues, share success stories across departments, and plant seeds for change, even if it takes time to grow.
• Circle of Concern:
You can’t change the CEO’s mindset or overhaul outdated policies on your own. But you don’t have to carry the frustration of that every day.
Over time, small changes ripple outward. Leadership changes. Priorities shift. Sometimes, just like that skunk, the problem moves on.
Time Has a Way of Making the Skunk Leave the Tent
When you’re stuck with a skunk in the tent, it feels like it’ll never leave. But here’s the thing: skunks don’t settle in. They wander. They move on—eventually.
The same is true for most organizational problems. Cultures evolve. Leaders come and go. Policies get rewritten. The skunk won’t be there forever.
Your job isn’t to force it out. Your job is to lead with intention, protect your energy, and create a culture within your team that thrives—no matter what’s happening outside your tent.
